u said u guys would be there for me
but why do i feel that its only you

im getting really cranky and paranoid these few days
probably due to the insufficient sleep i have

and this will explain it
work work work on saturday and sunday
for a whole 11 hours
had to wake up so early and by the time i knock off and reach home,
it'd be past midnight
tell me ! how do i get my beauty sleep this way
and what sucks is that i've gotta wake up EVEN EARLIER for school on monday
mummy was so worried that i wouldnt be able to endure and might even break down
but i assured her i can do it !
so I CAN DO IT !!!

was traumatized on saturday after i knocked off
okays
u guys picture this
me, a street idiot who didnt noe where the hell i was at that time, in the rain, drenched from head to toe, in the middle of the night where no public transport was available and the cabs were either hired or the drivers refuse to stop...
called honey, he couldnt come down
tried all ways, but to no avail
panic, stressed, afraid, angry and all the farking emotions
made me shout at honey unintentionally
which pissed him off
and i was left to fend for myself after that

i held back my stinging tears
and when i finally got a cab after god knows how long
my eyes started to rain
like profusely !
so scared and freaked out,
called suzhen, my pretty nehneh
(oh btw, suzhen's my pretty nehneh, christiana my sexy nehneh)
love my nehnehs !!! =)
and cried even more when i heard her voice
i guess i was just so desperate for someone to be there for me
u'd never know the feeling i felt at that time
thanks pretty nehneh for being there and for consoling me
very very much appreciated =)

and i bet the taxi uncle's so worried for me that he kept looking back
or is it that he's afraid i'd flood his taxi with my tears
hahas !
cried all the way home in the cab while talking to pretty nehneh on the phone
what a way to end my worn out day ah !

and on sunday,
i was chided by boss sooo many times
bet he got so pissed with me as well
but hello ! its a new skill i just picked up and he left me all alone in the shop
cant blame me for making a lil mistake here and there wads
FARK !
cant wait to knock off and head home
so when i thought i'd have to go home alone
honey actually came to cineleisure and waited for me to knock off and send me home
without telling me
but for the whole time i was in the car, i practically looked out of the window and refused to look him in the eye
i cant have my heart softened again

suzhen assured me that they would be there for me
they ; meaning at least she and christiana
especially for this period of time when im trying to get over stuff
break free from this turmoil i've lived in for almost a year
and would break down or go all moody easily
but today,
i donnoe for wad reason
someone's been talking to me so weirdly
like every time i ask something, he/she would reply me like as if they're replying some lunatic
or stranger
am i being too paranoid ?
i seriously hope i am

its at a point when i really need someone to be there
or at least those whom i reckon are my closest friend to be there
and its even heart breaking to know that one of them *maybe* just dont care
argh ! i cant even think properly now
and haikal's saying i need some sleep
thanks boy for cracking me up

so after all these rantings
do u people see where im coming from?!




You're the fire which burns my senses away